Meet My Obsession...

So I love coffee, But in the fall & winter I love it even more. Right now my new obsession is starbucks Iced Marble Mocha with Soy. Mmmmmmmmm. its so good... It has chocolate syrup & white chocolate syrup, but they dont mix it so its pretty too!! Its good hot too, but my all time favorite is a Vanilla Latte w/ Hazelnut!! hahaha.... One day Ill stop being lame and buy a coffee maker for my house so I can save money and learn how to be high class by making fancy coffee!! Until then, Starbucks is my fav but I also like Beans & Brews. Last winter I made Chai at home, it was hella good- Ill have to do that again.. :) Um, and yes I realize this is fattening people, I told you it gets worse in the winter......bring on that hoodie sweater . hahaha.

I put the FUN in dysfunctional!

I am a puddle of dysfunction!
I have what I like to call "Grass is Greener" syndrome. Where No matter what the hell is going on I ALWAYS think its greener on the other side. When Im in a relationship, I wanna be single. When Im single, I wanna be in a relationship. I think another job is gonna be better and am constantly searching the classifieds. I want another car, pretty sure if I had another car... I'd want another car. If I order a turkey sandwich.....I think I should have ordered chicken. This is on my mind right now because of my current relationship. I entertain these thoughts because One time i had them when i was married, and the grass was greener!!! Ok, so my current beau is waaaaaayyyyy perfect for me. He does everything right. I told him i was still waiting for him to be an asshole. So why in the hell do I keep thinking I should break it off? is it because I should in actuality break it off? or because Im scared?! We have talked about taking things to the next level a lot of times. I feel peace about this. SO why everytime I turn around am I having these thoughts?? I dont hate being single. Its been a ton of fun, But at the same time I am looking forward to starting the rest of my life... I want Zach to have a brother/sister and I want to buy a house. These are obviously things I cannot do alone, and Im not getting any freaking younger. So is that why im jumping the gun on my current relationship.....Because I want what i want?? I do NOT WANT to get another divorce. This whole thing is retarded. I've talked to a few people about it and everyone says "just wait and see" well.......here is the problem with that.... In my family It is unheard of to live with someone before being married. I feel like Jared and I are to the point where we either move forward with things or break up. I cannot just wait around and see what happens, because something needs to be done. Can I live without him? yes. Do I want to? not right now.... is that because im selfish and need attention? or is that because he's the right one for me? hahaha. I am an over analyzer. wow. I am not taking any medication, maybe I should be lol.

hahaha. i just laughed out loud at this.

Got a good one for ya....

Ok, I am thee idiot. Not An Idiot. "thee" idiot. And this is why. 2 weeks ago, I fell down the stairs at my boyfriends house. Breaking 2 bones in my hand. I did not know this at the time. And waited 2 days to get X rays to confirm this.

Here is my hand now... This is after a surgery putting 6 screws into it to put the bones back!! I can use it again, to shift my car, type, and get dressed. But im sure it would have been hillarious to watch me try to do anything. In fact i know it was, because i was laughing at myself and my left handed paperwork at the clinic. My Hand looks AWESOME here!!! :)
Here is my hand a week ago after the surgery. kinda swollen. hates life, and isn't cooperating with me.....at all....with anything!!!
this is after a few days, before my surgery. bruised everywhere. can't tell in the pic but it looked like a black persons hand. lol
I wrapped it but it was so hella black and blue. nasty and swollen. this is 5 days before the surgery to fix it! it hurt like a bitch....
And here i am, not taking any time off work, and attempting to actually work.....pour things off and pick stuff up and type. LOL everyone was picking up my slack. this pic is of my hand when it was in a splint, i put a glove on it because it was funny as hell. But it looks like a huge tumor growing in thurr...... hahahhaa. That glove was an XXL lol. the other is a small........i rule.
So I need physical Therapy on my poor hand because I cannot make a fist. So prob in a month it will be working again. But i guess the worst is over, and its kind of funny now... hahaha. Im an idiot.

My dating diary!!

This is Jared. the guy im dating now. He's really sweet. He was my boyfriend in jr high lol.....and my first kiss!! needless to say, its good to find out both of our tonsil hockey techniques have very much so improved in the last 12 years.... thank goodness!!! haha. :)

These are some of the others i have dated in the past 2 1/2 years, since my divorce. hahahaha. this is gonna be hillarious. I WISH i could remember every loser, but here are the ones i actually liked!!! hahaha. Trey. He wanted, prob still wants to be my sugar daddy!!!

Marshall. The biggest ASS ever but texts randomly to say he misses me & that he truly loved me. hahahaha!!!!

Derek. oh Derek. Cant SAY 1 bad thing about this one except he is as confusing as a women.

I still secretly wish he would call me. lol

Dallin. I dont know if we dated, or hung out. or what, but he is hot and i miss his stories. hes a talented musician on tour! Best of luck in CHINA!!!!

Benjamin......... lol. such a good friend of mine, yet funny... he is so vain. obviously. but always told me he loved my face, which- what a compliment!!!! hhahaha.

Mikey. wow. we went through a lot together and he recently told me he didnt want anything else. he lives in idaho, and is keeping it that way. Ill always wonder. but owell i guess! movin on & on....... yea, JEN. THEY WILL REGRET IT!!!!!! HAHAHAA!!!!!

i will leave Joey off of this because if you read my last blog we all know i hate that boy, and am trying to forget his stupid face lol

Nice girls finish last??

Ok seriously, I am sooooooooo beyond annoyed. I work FT (like most people) & im single with a 3 yr old (like a lot of people) But WTF..... I work graveyards so I can get Zach to Preschool in the day... I like my charming apartment but would like something um... a bit bigger.. um please... actually um NOW. I don't make enough money to get anything else. I make too much money to get help from the state of Utah. I DO NOT make enough money to go back to school to better myself. I make too much money to get a grant. I cannot get a normal job making good money, Monday-Friday 8-5.........Because I don't have a sitter, and paying for one would defeat the purpose of making more money. If I could afford going back to school... time is still a problem, I really don't know what to do with Zach during the days. I am STUCK in every aspect of my life right now. Im so sick of it because "the man" always says without hard work you'll accomplish nothing. Well im wanting to stick it to the man because I work my ass off and I still feel like im accomplishing absolutley NOTHING!!!!!!!!!

Friend, or Foe?

So someone that has been in my life for the past 8 years, that I mind you everyone around me HATED. and I for some reason couldn't wrap my head around this persons true colors to save a life. Here is a lil' somethin somethin i like to call Venting....
He doesn't live here. He lives in Las Vegas. Those that know me I am in love with this city, and he has been a big part of this. I would go visit this boy maybe twice a year sometimes 3 times... He would always say he was going to come visit me, but it never happened. Recently about 3 months ago, he actually did come visit me!! This is good right??? WRONGGGG!!!!! He had cut all his credit cards up, and "didn't have a way to book the flight. But would write me a check for it." Ok, I am not a stupid person, especially when it comes to this... But, I have known him for 8 years. I could see the good in him. He wouldn't screw meee over! HAHHAAHHHAAA. So I do it... yes, I book his flight. The whole time he is here he is eating me out of house and home, and being what Urban dictionary defines as a free loader: "Someone who takes advantage of another persons good nature by eating, drinking, smoking and taking money from them."
So, I ask him if he is going to write a check? He keeps inadvertently avoiding my question. Long story short he runs through customs and turns around to wave goodbye at me. I email him telling him what an asshole he is...and his response to it is this: get ready.... "Fuck Off" this is 3 months ago, and i haven't contacted him back.........nor has he contacted me. Just so ya'll know the tab for him to be here was $600. I could have done a lot for this amount. I am sooooooooooo beyond irritated right now. I had some Dental work done, go figure......the bill $600. He can't hold a steady job, so Im pretty sure I wont see any of this money ever again. I want to write him another rude somethin, but think silence might be better. I now got a text from T-mobile saying my autopay could not go through. Yeah, I know. I get payed tomorrow and its a pretty damn good thing i do. I am workin a bunch of Overtime but there is no way in hell i can pull out of this by myself. I am a nice person, and would expect the same respect in return. Im sick and damn tired of being taken advantage of. Here is the culprit now......If you see this person, RUN THE OTHER WAY. you can kick him in the shin first if you want though........... hahaha. what a disrespecting, ignorant, free loading, poor excuse for a man.

joey harrington, folks here he is in all his glory. Asks for rides places. Takes sheer advantage of others to compensate for his laziness and lack of responsibility for his own well being. Expects others to take care of his needs and desires without ever returning the favor. He is a scrub, which by definition means HE SUCKS AT LIFE!!

Classy with a little Trashy!

First of all......My Son is in Preschool now. Which is hella weird.... He is a total badass, and he loves school so far!! He actually took this picture..hahaha... turned out cute actually. I didn't even think i would be in it!!!
I went to the Utah State Fair. We were classy, as you can tell... oh my, we weren't even drinking, and there were kids in this before us......we waited for them to be done. lol

Special 3 for $10.00. I am $3.34...the other 2 you can get for $3.33. I raised my prices. hahaha!

We wanted to taste the deep fried oreo and the deep fried snickers. In the container they gave them to us in......and i regretfully so don't have a picture of this. But it looked like a dick and balls. hahahaha....... so we are licking them!! LOL

Is She Kidding???!

So, I have been trying to be nice to Zach's new step mom. She is good with Zach. But she doesn't have any kids of her own...and she kisses & hugs him IN FRONT OF MEEEEE all the time. Which really doesn't sit well with me. I dont like the idea of Zach having 2 moms. I will get my redemption when Zach has 2 dads as well, but right now it totally sucks! :(
Today She totally pissed me off, and stomped all over my toes. I took Zach over there because i had to go to work. Jake was asleep and so she started talking to me about Zach. The following is a bit of the convo.... her- "So when zach is at your house and is in a diaper, do you let him use the diaper.. or make him use the toilet?" (because he wears a pull up to bed) me- "uhh, if he is in the diaper, he uses it... but only to go pee" her- "well you probably shouldn't let him use the diaper......." turns to Zach "NO NO ZACH. You're a BIG BOY... YOU USE THE POTTY" ok, for 1......HELL NO. Do NOT discipline MY SON in front of me. Then she turns back to me "YOU should probably not do that, I would like to get rid of the diapers all together." ok for 1) I would like to not buy diapers as well..... but for 2) Don't tell me what to do with MY SON when he is at MY HOUSE. Like its any of her DAMN business. So i said "umm, yea, well personally I dont give a shit if he takes a piss in his diaper, thats what its for!" and turned to Zach and hugged him and left!!!!!! WTF is she serious??? Jake is gonna hear about this later. Anything that has to do with OUR son should be approached by him or me. Not the bitch that he married. I am so beyond annoyed right now........

Here is Zach mowing the lawn.......Anyone that knows him..Knows that he is obsessed with lawn mowers. And is so happy that he is mowing with the actual mower. hahaha. (don't worry, he is being supervised right now!!! hahah)

Having a little fun... maybe!

Some of my friends and I got together the other day...I met all these girls when I was 16 at my first job!! I would LOVE to get everyone together, because obviously some people are still missing :( wow, we all have kids now, and they all have husbands hahahaha!!!

This is just a picture of my funny boy, who climbed into my suitcase when I was packing it. Maybe he wanted to come with me. hahaha.

Strange Phenomenon.

So... this is kind of weird. But i actually believe this. Recently 2 men that were in my life....well, I will not get into this long story.. but shit turned sour rather quickly. lets just put it that way. When this happened, I thought to myself "Now that I don't have idiots around me, I have room for good people" I heard the quote "Death Brings New Life" and although these dumbasses are not dead.... They are very much dead to me. Here is the weird part....3 days later, I met positive people. I haven't met anyone for a long ass time!! Is it possible that these little boys were taking up my space/time and I didn't have "room" for anyone worth it? I really hate to think about all the time i wasted. Even funnier......Both of these little boys have access to this blog through my myspace. hahahaha!!