Thursday, June 21, 2012

Little bit of this little bit of that......

Now I am not talking about eating a well rounded meal although that would be awesome!!!!!! I am talking about Parenting and Respect.
Its very hard for me as a Mom & PERSON to know how things are affecting my child. I want to make CHRYSTAL CLEAR that I do believe I am not doing anything WRONG, just Differently. That being said....The other night our A/C was broken so Joel and I were sitting outside BBQing. He was drinking a beer and I had a Mango Margarita. I left it inside and asked Zach to grab it for me. After this happened I thought "WTF? He shouldn't be getting my Alcoholic beverage for me right now....." Zach is being raised LDS and he attends church with his Dad and Step Mom. I was also raised LDS and a lot of the teachings that I was taught are still with me and I know its not all bad. Which is why I let Zachs Dad teach him these things. Haha I just laughed at me "letting" his dad, I 'let' him teach him as much as he 'lets' me drink. How funny that I worded it that way! Its not just up to ME... I digress, Zach brings my drink out to me and cops an attitude about "alcohol is bad" and "I shouldn't drink it" and yada yada. I am unsure of what to say in these situations because I really do not think it is wrong for me to drink casually in my life. I am not an alchoholic. Nor have I been irresponsible. But I can't tell him its not wrong because he is being taught that it is. I would never want to put my 7yr old in the middle of this debate. Anyways, so he is getting frustrated about my drink and says "MOMMM You're not listening to me" Joel said "Now you know how we feel" It was hilarious.... but I really felt for my son in that moment. Zach is a normal child but he tries with all of his little heart to do the right thing and I am sure I am confusing his pure mind.
I feel alienated by my choices in my life, I have felt that way from my parents and now I feel like my own son has lost respect for me because of the way he is being taught. I was also taught this way and am not in any way trying to disrespect the things he is learning, but its not my cup of tea and I really am not doing anything "WRONG". It must be so confusing for him to be told Dont do this or that. Its wrong, this and that, then I am over here doing everything that he is being told not to do. I hate double standards and am not tyring to raise him with one. His Dad and I try to talk to him about its ok to chose to live your life differently and luckily for me, his Dad is very understanding about life choices. And I know his Dad respects ME even though he may not respect what I am doing. Its very noble to know the difference & teach that to our son. I guess its just one of those things! Zach is just going to have to take all presented information and grow into the man he wants to be. I support him in whatever he wants to do. Well unless it is something distructive at which point i would hope NO PARENT supports those behaviors! ;)  This morning as I was making my Coffee he said "Sometimes I like the smell and sometimes I hate it" I said "Well that's how life is. Good and Bad". I wouldn't change me and I wouldn't change him for anything. I truly feel everything is how it should be!