Friday, April 13, 2012

Bitter much??!

Let me just clarify this. If I am bitter I am this kind of bitter... To give a textbook definition, bitters is a distillation of aromatic herbs, barks, roots and plants, steeped in alcohol. Actually I just want some bitters now....anyways,
Not sure that anyone reads my rants and raves but here is another one. I notice that in life nothing can ever be perfect. I see the beauty in this, but at the same time I am irritated as all hell about it! I have been looking for a good Full Time job since October when I got laid off. Since Oct I have worked 2 other PT jobs and got laid off from the one, and now can't give proper notice to the other. Ive been saying for months I wanted to get off Unemployment and get a steady job. Now I got one. One that I will probably like. Well why am I not happy? I am grateful but not happy. The hours for this job are making me a bad mother. This is my worst absolute worst nightmare as a parent. NOT BEING THERE FOR MY KIDS in my case KID. I can't pick him up from school. I am going to miss the majority of his Little League games bc "I have to work" How rediculous am I? I am NOT THIS PARENT. I feel its a rock in a hard place because I have been up financial shit creek for awhile now and its not going to get any better unless I am working FT. Plus I hate the govt, I dont want Unemployment anymore. Nothing pisses me off more than filing my "weekly claim" I am serious, I wish they could hear what I was saying while I did it. I would have lost Unemployment long ago due to inapropriate behavior LOL!!!!!! I digress, But Joel and I owed taxes this year. SERIOUSLY OBAMA? ........SERIOUSLY!!!!! and it was not a small amount. We dont even own a house yet and things are not coming together. If we were a zipper our teeth would not match up. DUDE I hate broken jackets. In order to do the things that need to be done for our family, I have to sacrifice seeing Zach? WTF!!!!!!!! I do not like this. Its suppose to be good or bad.....not both at the same time. I start on Monday, I wanted a fresh start, but this doesn't feel all that fresh to me. It LITERALLY STINKS! :(