I have what I like to call "Grass is Greener" syndrome. Where No matter what the hell is going on I ALWAYS think its greener on the other side. When Im in a relationship, I wanna be single. When Im single, I wanna be in a relationship. I think another job is gonna be better and am constantly searching the classifieds. I want another car, pretty sure if I had another car... I'd want another car. If I order a turkey sandwich.....I think I should have ordered chicken. This is on my mind right now because of my current relationship. I entertain these thoughts because One time i had them when i was married, and the grass was greener!!! Ok, so my current beau is waaaaaayyyyy perfect for me. He does everything right. I told him i was still waiting for him to be an asshole. So why in the hell do I keep thinking I should break it off? is it because I should in actuality break it off? or because Im scared?! We have talked about taking things to the next level a lot of times. I feel peace about this. SO why everytime I turn around am I having these thoughts?? I dont hate being single. Its been a ton of fun, But at the same time I am looking forward to starting the rest of my life... I want Zach to have a brother/sister and I want to buy a house. These are obviously things I cannot do alone, and Im not getting any freaking younger. So is that why im jumping the gun on my current relationship.....Because I want what i want?? I do NOT WANT to get another divorce. This whole thing is retarded. I've talked to a few people about it and everyone says "just wait and see" well.......here is the problem with that.... In my family It is unheard of to live with someone before being married. I feel like Jared and I are to the point where we either move forward with things or break up. I cannot just wait around and see what happens, because something needs to be done. Can I live without him? yes. Do I want to? not right now.... is that because im selfish and need attention? or is that because he's the right one for me? hahaha. I am an over analyzer. wow. I am not taking any medication, maybe I should be lol.
hahaha. i just laughed out loud at this.
1 comment:
This is so me too!! And boy does it effin suck.
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