Wednesday, April 13, 2011

Vent ...Venting... Vented.

This may not be the place nor be associated with the proper language/grammar. But some things need to be said.
I AM SO SICK AND TIRED of people getting handouts. Handouts in Trips, Jobs, Accessories. Celebs who have money never have to buy anything they want. It is just given to them because they are pretty. People just doing things for other people. Knowing people in low places, high places. Getting this for free or that.
I have NEVER gotten a handout. Never gotten something for nothing. I have worked my ass off for everything that Zach and I own. Ive had a job since I was 14yrs old, taking 6 weeks off work when Zach was born. Now I get in a bad situation with a "friend" and im unemployed. It appears that I have no experience to work in the field I have been working in for the past 7 Years and I am starting back at point A. Then you see all these people who have never even had a job and I feel judged by them. People who have family money, or who work for their family or a friend. Who had no business even doing the job but was given the job because they "KNEW" someone. I feel like a failure to myself and my son. I have never paid bills late, thats just not something that I do. My credit score could not be any higher. The Govt helps all sorts of people who take advantage of the system left and right. I never applied for CHIP or food stamps or any other program when I was a single mother. And believe me I was QUALIFIED for it. I didn't apply because I hate the govt and their way of fixing things. I wanted to "fix" what was wrong myself. I have been unemployed now for 2 months. I applied for unemployment... FIRST THING I HAVE EVER ASKED FOR. Because I deserve it. The way things happened with my work... believe me I didn't deserve to be fired. And what happened? I was DENIED. The GOVT wont help a mother who is honestly looking for a job daily...who isn't trying to take advantage of the help. Who is asking because I honestly need the help and it has nothing to do with laziness. Thanks a lot. The money I should be getting is going to some Imigrant probably (and I am not racist, thats just how things are) But I can't say that I am surprised. The govt wont help before its already too late. That is what is wrong with this Country and this is why the Economy is bad. Everyone just wants handouts.
I am getting married next Saturday. That is the only blessing in my life right now. I am so sick of trying for nothing and doing my best to accomplish NOTHING. I am not trying to have a bad attitude I am just really frustrated. Last night at Zachs game we left his shoes in the dugout on accident and I had to send him to school today in his cleats because they were the only shoes he had here. Is it really a big deal? No. But believe me I started stressing about buying him new shoes because I dont have money for that. My car needs gas, All this wedding planning isn't over. I still need Money for the reception, odds and ends. & the Honeymoon..... I feel we really need to go on a honeymoon because I didn't go for my first marriage & truly both of us need to get away. I feel I am entitled to go on a honeymoon. My last Vacation was Vegas over 3 years ago.....Yet, I feel like im Irresponsible for going on a honeymoon when I dont have a job. Im sick of always trying to do the right thing. Right for who? I am sick of always feeling judged by everyone. I can't even go over to my own parents in a sleevless shirt because my mom will eye the tattoo on my shoulder. I just really need a break in a big way. My head is going to explode!!!!!!!!!

& the cherry on top my kitty is mean. I took her in to get her fixed and turns out she is already fixed. Spaying her was suppose to mellow her out. The whole time I was typing this blog she is jumping up at me and using my leg as a claw sharpener. If i pick her up she bites me and she hates to be pet. She just likes to be around people, but dont touch her. She made me bleed. WTF!
Case in point......

Last night I was in the bathtub & she came in there. Looked at me like this THE WHOLE TIME! I must be a sad sight! hahahaha. Anyway I hope she starts being nice bc I could use a snuggle.

1 comment:

Lucy_Good said...

I totally understand and agree with what you have said.

Our government gives everyone handouts but it never seems to go to the people who really need it just to help out for a SHORT term!
WTFWTFWTFWTF!!!!!!!!!

You more than deserve to go on a honeymoon and you shouldn't have to justify it to yourself or anyone for that matter why you are going on one. It will be amazing and that is a great way to start out your marriage. You guys will not want to come back to reality haha! You've earned it!

On a happy note...I like the changes you made to your blog it's pretty! = )