Ok A) I have a dancing PHOBIA. I cannot dance in public. Ive been out a few times to clubs since my divorce, and it really isn't my scene because I just feel so awkward. Its not that I can't dance... I really can. But on a dance floor in a crowded place I feel like my shoes are cement. I know how lame this is, But I cannot get past it. Everyone at the club is drunk anyway, right?? I DONT KNOW. Because I look at people dancing and think "OMG That is WHY I dont DANCE...." But why don't they care?? They are better off than me. They are at least out there.
I went to SANDBAR last night with work friends. It was fun, But I couldn't dance. I went out there and looked and felt like a total retard and that was the end of that. Im sick of the critisism. "Nobody cares" (Yes I know except ME, and im the one that matters in this...) "Just do IT" (Yes I would love to. But you dont understand......) "You need to losen up" (Pretty sure its not because I am uptight. I have a serious problem with this.) "Drink more" (ok this is not ok for many reasons... Getting totally wasted is only going to make me start crying when you tell me to do something I dont want to do.. Not only that, Im very touchy and I dont want to be touching on anyone that I work with... Let alone.. Thats not why I have this problem in the first place people!!!)
A guy that was friends with someone that was a work friend of mine. Kept asking me repeatedly to dance. I told him "no thank you" "its not you. its me" "I dont dance with anyone..." "No, really... I do not want to dance" For 1. I didnt want to DANCE. for 2. I really didn't want to dance with so called CREEPER. The last time he talked to me about dancing he said "Well, you might be cute, but you're extreemly Rude and kind of a bitch" Thats fine, I told you the truth, apparently this is bitchy of me?? Excuse me for becoming irrated with your annoying self asking over and over and in my personal bubble far more than I would appreciate to begin with.
*Why do they care if I dance or just mingle around??????
*Why do i feel attacked by everyone everytime I go out?
*This is why i do not go most of the time.
*Note to self: Stay home next time or buy a fake wheelchair. That way nobody will give me any shit for not dancing LOL
Anyway it was fun, And i love my friends. I just sick of the drama directed at me. Im really fine just sitting and people watching. Thats the best anyway!
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