Monday, June 10, 2013


Wondering why God is everyone's go-to when there is a problem?
God gives people strength? That strength is within them from the beginning. period.
I know a lot of my friends and family are religious people so I am not writing this saying they are wrong. But why do they think I am wrong for not choosing that?  Every time I talk to my mother about things going on she makes statements, that are confusing the real reason for the problem and finding a REAL SOLUTION to the problem.

Our problems are not that we are not active in the church, our financial problems are not due to the fact that we don't pay our tithing. I'm Sorry. But they aren't. I have walked that path before. I got married in the Temple to Zach's father & have paid my tithing from age 11 until age 16. took a break, then paid it from age 19 to 24. Yes, maybe not wanting the church in my life caused me to get divorced, but Jake and I were not right for each other & I have never regretted the decision to divorce. I have a great son with him that is very well adjusted and the light of both of our lives but that doesn't mean we should have stayed married.

I've heard time and time again that "its Sad that you've chosen to take the path of least resistance" Least resistance according to whom??? Also something about "its your free agency" Since when is it a choice? My whole childhood I never felt it was a choice. I was always forced to adhere to those teachings and scared about everything I did outside of them. I thought I was going to hell. I'm sorry, but that isn't a choice. That's not free agency, that's FEAR. And WRONG. Everyone talks down to me about my choice and acts like I'm stupid for choosing to live my life outside of those principles. Yeah, it is a CHOICE now that I'm an adult, and I've made it so quit with your underlying tirades with a hidden testimony. I know what you are doing, and when you do that it just irritates me. It doesn't make a so called "light bulb" go off in my mind.

Just to make this clear, I am just like you. I have things I like to do, Talents, a Sense of humor, I'm beautiful, Creative. I'm a great Mother. Just because I drink on the weekends and sometimes cuss, and don't give 10% of my paycheck to an organization doesn't make me less of a person nor should it make me less loved or accepted by anyone.

Yes, I do send my child to church weekly with his Dad. Why would I do that if I feel the way I feel? Because I see all the good things about religion. It's good for my child to be able to participate in those campouts as a teen, in scouts and have weekly activities that are good natured. Do I care if he chooses not to continue this as a Man? Absolutely not. Does it make all of my efforts to get him there, and his fathers efforts to take him there worth nothing? Absolutely not.

With all this being said. I love getting advice from everyone from all walks of life. But please give advice based on something other than this. Base it on Knowledge, not Faith and don't judge me or anyone associated with me for choosing not to live their life day to day with Faith alone. I'm pretty much at my wits end with "Pray about it" or "Pay a full tithe". My father is aware of our struggle and he has chosen not to help us because we didn't ask him? Sorry I don't believe that. No god would punish someone because they didn't merely ask. If I am ever a godly creature I would never treat my children spitefully. That's just stupid.

Again, Not trying to offend anyone. I wish people would quit offending me with this though. Its a very fine line and I just walked it.

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