AVANT!!!!!!!

I saw my Celebrity BF in concert... Celebrity boyfriend is a Celebrity that you can have sex with if the oppurtunity arose and it has no basis on current relationship status. LOL! Seriously, I would have too. He is so sexy! Plus he smelled so good. I had drank a lot of Riesling this night and don't really remember anything except for that he smelled good and he did a little dance pelvic thrust on stage and im sorry if anyone is under age... but I just came!!!!!

MY Current relationship status is MARRIED but COMPLICATED. In fact I am looking at divorce papers on the table right now. I guess I have to go to another Avant concert. Damn. I dont have a picture with him without Joel in it. This pic is awesome if we stayed married but It aint lookin to hawt right nah!!!!!! Yes, I do care. I realize by the way I am writting this it would appear that I do not. But, Im trying to be positive and I understand that I am Ok. Im not transparent enough to say my whole world is crumbling bc that would be dramatic and false. Anyway, Thanks to all my family and friends who have always supported me...even in my sexual debacles aka wishes where I talk about Celebrities. :)

I might float away!!

Welcome to town its the Landsaw Circus! hahaha.
We got some family pics taken. I think they turned out pretty cute. It was a huge hassle to do this! We had to take 2 cars & Wow, those balloons cost $13 a balloon. Can you believe that? Im glad we weren't paying a photographer on top of it. They were kind of heavy and it was SOO hot this day. My sister took the pics for us! =) She has been our certified photographer. She did our engagements and after our really bad wedding photos I dont want to hire a photographer, again. Ugh!!! Anyway here are my favorite photos.......








We had a Pink balloon for Zoe, but unfortunantly she let it go before the first picture. I saw that happening! Good thing we had an extra!

Growing.

I had this great teacher in young womens, back when I was probably around 13. Im not a religious person and I dont think she is either, which is why she was so awesome for me! hah! But she had this theory that has stuck with me throughout the years. She had 2 boys and said everytime they would start arguing she would have them go say whatever they were going to say to each other to a plant she had in the kitchen. She had 2 identical plants next to each other on the counter. One was the negative plant. One the positive. Her boys would go cuss at it and say all sorts of rude things to the plant. She watered and took care of the 2 plants the same. Eventually the negative plant wilted and died. I love this story because negativity does affect you in actions, health and attitude. I think of this story often and want to implement it with my own kids. Problem is I dont want any of my plants to die.LOL. and weather or not that is why, Im not willing to risk it! We have been trying to blend a family together for a year this month. Oh man. I got married young the first time around. Then divorced and was single for 5 years, living alone...and blending a family together with 2 completely opposite parenting techniques is easily the hardest thing I have ever had to endure. I curse the Brady Bunch because it is NOTHING like this. Favortism. Coddling. Discipling. Buying toys, Clothes, Bedtime rituals. Bad habits. Things I have never even thought would be an issue. Has been an issue twice, or three times! Seriously so ridiculous. I am only 1 person!!!! So awhile back I found these seeds and planted them. I love them. Apparently when the seed sprouts it comes out of the dirt and you can read the word still. I can't wait to see it!! Im so excited!


Maybe the plant will help!!! It helped my young women's teacher all those years ago! The seed says FAMILY on it. Hopefully this plant grows stronger with time, & hopefully my family will continue to as well!

Z makes a suggestion!

So the other day Zach was over at my Parents house. She had painted one of those wooden displays people put their face into for pictures, for a retirement home.

Z: Grandma, Why is the lady on that holding a cigarette?
My Mom: Because I didn't know what else to put in her hand. She is a saloon girl, and saloon girls smoke those long cigarettes.
Z: (SIGH) Grandma........You can put anything else in her hand. You can put a Ball, or some food. You can put a flower or an animal. You can put a slingshot or a piece of carpet.

LOL!!! A piece of carpet. Did they have carpet back then? ha ha ha. ZACH! He is so hilarious. So my mom took his advice and painted over the cigarette with some playing cards. She liked his suggestion to change it!

She obviously didn't go for the carpet suggestion though, Probably a good call!!! =)

What, did. I. Just. Say?!?!?!

I have a new EMBARRASSING moment that will top them all.....
Here is what being Nervous/Tired & having a very LONG weekend (not in a good way) will to do you.......
I have not had to make outbound calls at my work yet (its been 9 weeks) until recently they got a phone for my desk. GOODIE!!!! That was me being sarcastic if you didn't know! The calls I am making are to ask Architects and General Contractors about any new Addenda (changes) to the plan we are working on, And where It can be found. The receptionist writes the number/contact name down...She wrote: O'Brien/Atkins Ass: Todd Tingler...then the # (She meant Associates...obviously... but why is his last name Tingler?) So I call and this is my:

*FIRST CALL EVER!!!!!!*

*I HAVE NEVER CALLED ANYONE FROM WORK!!!*

*I AM NERVOUS ABOUT WHAT TO SAY......*

"Thanks for calling O'Brien/Atkins how may I direct your call?"
"May I speak to Ass Tingler...Todd. Todd Tingler.........."
"......................One moment please"

OMG! WHAT?!!! WTF!!! WHAT did I just say??!!!!!!!! LOL LOL!
(Luckily Mr Tingler didn't answer, and I left a VM!)

It wasn't my fault. I read how it was written before the call and thought ha ha ha. Then was flustered when she answered.
Maybe they wont let me make calls anymore!!!! =)

Tribute to Cos!

I have the best Kitty on the planet! I am sorry. Yes I am that kitty mom that takes pictures of the cat as if its my own baby. Last night she was running up and down the stairs, behind the Tv, back up the stairs, behind the Tv, on the top of the couch then to the other couch then back behind the Tv. The whole time she is doing this I was sitting at the computer watching her. She starts meowing then running again. This went on for maybe 7min straight. Then she walks over and has her toy in her mouth (its a little stuffed dog LOL) she puts it down and starts giving herself a bath. I play with my Itunes for like 3 min then look at her, and she passed out!!!! All that running made my baby tired. Hahahaha!

I get up to go change the laundry and she is up.
She follows me downstairs and is sitting like a lady watching me... I start singing to her "If your mama's favorite kitty meow right nooowwwww" (ya know to the tune of if you're happy and you know it....) "Mmmmeeeeeeoooooooooowwwwwwwwwwww" LOL seriously she meowed and it was the longest meow ever. and so I sung it again and she meowed again. LOL I started laughing so hard I was crying!

Oh my! love her snooty ass.

The 3 P's.

*Parenting *Punishment and of course *Pee!!!!!!!!
On a scale of 1-10 for strictness in parenting. 10 being super strict and 1 being so lax that your kids control your life, I would probably rate myself at a 6. Ever since Zach was as little as 1 year old he has had regular time outs and punishments for whatever behavior he displayed. Ive been through putting him on the stair (for Time Out) and having him run away and putting him back on it OVER AND OVER. Putting him in his room and listening to him scream and kick the walls repeatedly OVER AND OVER. And sadly but surely I have been SO annoyed with him before that I have left him in his room long enough that he has fallen asleep during a punishment. All of this said and done he usually is a pretty Awesome, Funny, Smart Kid!
That being said.... emphasis on USUALLY and emphasis on KID. I realize he is a 6yr old little BOY and he will do boy things....Although I dont condone the phrase "Boys will be Boys" That is the stupidest saying I have ever heard. Just because someone is a BOY doesn't automatically grant them the honor of acting in certain ways nor does it make it OK. So, last Sat we were at home. Me, Zach, Joel & Zoey. The kids were playing downstairs. We have 1 bathroom it is upstairs. There are 3 levels... The kids come upstairs and Zoe informs Joel that Zach has gone to the bathroom in the litter box #1 & #2....and that she tried too, but couldn't go. UMMM. WHAT!!!!! WTF???? I am at a loss for what to do. The punishments were as follows: No Wii, Netflix, Movies for the rest of the weekend and No Bike. Zach cleaned the litter box and Zoey had to clean the upstairs toilet since she didn't "Use" the litter box. Unfortunately the kiddos were going to their other parents house Sat afternoon. Jake carries out my punishments so Zach was still grounded but Im pretty sure Zoey got off Scott free.
Zach was acting way sorry and wanted his stuff back so bad, he got it all back on Monday. I get a call on Monday night from Jake informing me that Zach has been peeing in the corner of his bedroom since SATURDAY. WHAT THE!!!!!!! Saturday is when he was punished for peeing in the litter box...Apparently the punishment didn't sink in!!!!!! So not only did Zach pee in the corner of his bedroom 4 times (that he admits too) he tried to blame it on his sister Victoria, who is 1 yr old, and wears a diaper! We dont think this behavior is an attention plea. He said he didn't want to use the toilet because then he'd have to wash his hands and he didn't want too. Apparently he doesn't understand that you still should wash your hands when you pee even though its on the carpet. LOL!!!!!!! His punishments for this time are as follows: 10 jobs chore sheet done before doing anything else in the morning, early to bed, No story time at bedtime & if he wants to play certain things in the day like ride his bike or the Wii he must do extra chores to "earn that" back. I told Jake to put a diaper on him. LOL if he doesn't know how to use the toilet he needs one. Now I am more concerned about him LYING than I am about his choice of Bathrooms. Its probably because we have been kind of strict with him, and now he is scared to TELL THE TRUTH because he knows he will be in trouble! Ahhh, how I remember lying to my parents. Lmao, it never works out the way you intend it too, plus its kind of hard to keep straight who you told the truth too and who you told the lie too, and what lie. Jake says the apple didnt fall far from the tree because when he was a kid he peed into the heater vents. WTF? Im so glad he is not my kid!!!!!!! and I guess it proves right about the apple again because I lied all the time as a kid. I guess both of us totally deserve it. LOL!!!
Anyway I feel sad for Z. He has been walking around kind of sad for a few days. If he keeps up the good behavior he will get all of his stuff back and be out of the woods in time for the 4th of July! It is my year to have him and actually this is my FIRST 4th of July having him. EVER. I know SAD!!! but I have always had to work!

Here's hoping for a POTTY TRAINED, Fun, 4th of July weekend for me and my Family!!! =)

FunFacts 101

​Things I know, That you should probably know too....

1.White should really not be worn after labor day and before memorial day. Seriously.
2. The term X's come from metaphorically crossing someone out. Not from marking the spot.
3. 5 day work weeks are of the devil
4. Sext messaging is really the best, OK. yes I said sext.
5. Using someones name or age as an excuse for certain behavior is really not OK. (Ie: "Yep that's Mallory for you...") Excuse me, Just because that is Mallory doesn't mean she can act like a total ass.
6. Teal is the best color invented
7. My wedding ring has 2.5ct worth of diamonds on it and it cost entirely too much money =(

8. When you are turning right, please just turn. Are you stopping or turning? WTF
9. Music can change your mood!
10. My son is turning 6 tomorrow. 6!!!! CraZy! & he did this pose by himself. LOL

11. Post it notes were invented to remind your significant other they are sexy..Not to remind you to buy milk.
12. Beyonce really did have the best video. LOL even though Kanye really is a D bag.
13. Pedicures are worth every penny!
14. Waking up on your own account is PRICELESS, no children/alarm/pets in the way!
15. Don't tell someone something stinks "smell it" Really?
16.Do not buy black cars. Just don't do it. It will never be clean.
17.Jagged Edge is releasing their new album June 21. =)
18. Growing old is inevitable, growing up is optional <----Whoever wrote this quote I will punch them in the face. I hate grown ups that act like children.
19. Cooking blogs really are the best thing since sliced bread! Oh my. I love reading about how to be domesticated LOL
20. Men are the sexiest in pink & purple, flip flops and hats. Sorry, They are.
21.Everything isn't a competition. I wish everyone would stop being so damn competitive all the time.
22. Copying someone really isn't the highest form of flattery. Knock it off.
23.Ritz and Peanut Butter!!!!!!!
24. Without the Internet I would not have a job. I don't know weather to thank 1992 or curse it.
25. Myspace really is the worst site ever invented.... Even though I met my husband on it.

Choppin'

Usually chopping things is a bad thing right? I mean just saying. Chopping your finger off. Having another limb chopped off. Chopping Onions even makes ya cry.
Well every since I can remember she been choppin our heads choppin choppin our heads...choppin choppin our head (haha. Thanks three 6 Mafia the original Lyrics are Poppin my colla) Excuse me I am still mad. Lets get choppin.


















I didn't include the ones from my previous post. Wow. AWEN PHOTOGRAPHY.They really captured the best, Dontcha think?

The Good, Bad & the Ugly...

THE GOOD:
Our wedding was PERFECT! It was such a good day! All my family and friends were there. Joel & I looked AWESOME. However you wouldn't know it from the pictures our photographer took. WORST PHOTOGRAPHER EVER!!!!!! She wasn't proactive in taking pictures, her and her husband both stood in the hallway until they were prompted to take pictures & after that she posed every pic in front of a WINDOW!! Our wedding was a brunch style wedding from 11am-2pm. Every pic is so washed out, and she chopped the heads off in the pics as well, we dont have any pics of family, grandparents, even Joels sisters. We dont have 1 pic. Not even 1 pic of Joel and I close up that our entire heads are in & looking at the camera. Here are my top 5 pictures...





THE BAD:
Here are the worst 5 pictures LOL....(Hey at least I can laugh now. I have lost sleep and cried many tears over this....)
WHY would she send this pic????

Most pics she took she chopped heads.....

Couldn't she turn the camera? Zach face is chopped at the bottom and Joels head is chopped at the top. Nobody is even looking at the camera. WTF?????????????? plus the window? =( so amature.

What is she trying to do here?????????

WTF?

THE UGLY:
I wrote her a letter saying how devestated I was and how sad the quality of the pics made me. her response was "Sorry you didn't like the pictures. I spent over 60 hours editing them (WTF??? she must really suck at editing) We are not a Traditional Photography team. My appologies" WHAT? So cutting off heads and blurring out images she didn't originally want in the pic is their STYLE of photography??? REALLY??? I haven't paid for her service, and im debating how to handle that right now. I asked her for the RAW images. I can only hope she edited the pictures to chop heads off and I can salvage some of the pics from this day. I cannot replace the damage she has done. Right now since the wedding was only 3 weeks ago I can remember how special the day was...but 20 years from now, the pictures will be all we have left. SO SERIOUSLY SAD!!!! I dont even feel like printing any to make an album. =(