Sugar Coating.....

Webster defines this as: cause to appear more pleasant or appealing!!! Which really? Everyone is GUILTY of doing this. Even restaurants, If you order something off the menu from a picture, it really doesn't look like that. SO DISAPPOINTING!!!!!!!!
When is it Ok to Sugar Coat? And when is it not?
"Do I look fat in this dress?" <--------OK to Sugar Coat.
"I freakin burned this chicken" <-----OK to Sugar Coat.
So why can't anyone handle the truth??? I try to avoid people that are to "abrupt" for me. They bug its like they don't have a filter. Have you ever tasted Coffee without it going through a filter? I mean it is not the business!!!! This filter less person is like that cup of coffee to me.
So when does it go from Sugar Coating to straight up Lying? and is still ok if it involves a child???? The reason for this blog is because I get so annoyed with People and how they are with their kids. Seriously! Stop Sugar Coating EVERYTHING. If they SUCK they SUCK. Not to be abrupt because I just did say I hate people that are too abrupt. But seriously I have had it with this. Kid seriously is ridiculous at something, I mean not good at all. Don't blow smoke up their little bum. Point out what they ARE good at, and move on from it. These kids are all over American Idol making fools of themselves, because they think they are the Cats Pajamas. I am on a tirade! The way I was raised is exactly this way. My parents always told me I can do better, it use to bug me. Like, really? I just tried really hard to get that B and you are mad about it??? But I couldve gotten an A. That's what its about! Also, my cousins and I would be getting into all sorts of trouble and doing this and that. THEIR parents response when we got caught "My kids would never do that" MY parents response "MY kids are the ones that influenced them" This also use to bug me. It was always ME, MY FAULT. Well, Sorry for Zach I am the same way. I always think it is HIM if something is going on, and more times than not, Its NOT him. But why do parents have this veil over their eyes about their kids??? They aren't that cute. They aren't that smart. They aren't good at everything. Its not rude to be honest about this. Right? I will be the first one to tell Zach "You're not very good at that. But keep practicing" I'm not about to tell him he is amazing just because he tried. He's not. Its great on him that he tried, for sure! Not saying that, but that doesn't mean he needs to be over praised. Am I wrong?? I see this on a daily basis of parents over praising their kids. Sorry but they need to hear how it is too. I feel it is sending them down a wrong road in life, of not earned cockiness and explosive self esteem. There is a difference between being confident and cocky. I want to raise confident kids. Kids that have earned that confidence because they are good and smart. Not cocky ones that walk around thinking they are amazing (because of fake smoke blown up their ass constantly by their parents) when everyone is seeing they aren't, I mean how embarrassing. How can parents be so blind????
Convo with my Dad: "The kids should only get a trophy if they win" (about Zachie's baseball/basketball/soccer trophies) "well they are little still, and they don't keep an acurate score" D:"Well....then they definantly shouldn't be getting a trophy" .........Not that I mind that the kids get trophies. But why do they? I think he is right. It didn't use to be this way. If you got the trophy it was because you DID something to earn it. Like WIN for example.....Now everyone gets one so nobody gets butt hurt. Really Society? Way to be........
*DISCLAIMER: HAHA @myself at my posts about parenting and other peoples parents. I full on know I make mistakes and am not the perfect parent by any stretch of my own imagination or anyone else's. It is merely an opinion.

Little bit of this little bit of that......

Now I am not talking about eating a well rounded meal although that would be awesome!!!!!! I am talking about Parenting and Respect.
Its very hard for me as a Mom & PERSON to know how things are affecting my child. I want to make CHRYSTAL CLEAR that I do believe I am not doing anything WRONG, just Differently. That being said....The other night our A/C was broken so Joel and I were sitting outside BBQing. He was drinking a beer and I had a Mango Margarita. I left it inside and asked Zach to grab it for me. After this happened I thought "WTF? He shouldn't be getting my Alcoholic beverage for me right now....." Zach is being raised LDS and he attends church with his Dad and Step Mom. I was also raised LDS and a lot of the teachings that I was taught are still with me and I know its not all bad. Which is why I let Zachs Dad teach him these things. Haha I just laughed at me "letting" his dad, I 'let' him teach him as much as he 'lets' me drink. How funny that I worded it that way! Its not just up to ME... I digress, Zach brings my drink out to me and cops an attitude about "alcohol is bad" and "I shouldn't drink it" and yada yada. I am unsure of what to say in these situations because I really do not think it is wrong for me to drink casually in my life. I am not an alchoholic. Nor have I been irresponsible. But I can't tell him its not wrong because he is being taught that it is. I would never want to put my 7yr old in the middle of this debate. Anyways, so he is getting frustrated about my drink and says "MOMMM You're not listening to me" Joel said "Now you know how we feel" It was hilarious.... but I really felt for my son in that moment. Zach is a normal child but he tries with all of his little heart to do the right thing and I am sure I am confusing his pure mind.
I feel alienated by my choices in my life, I have felt that way from my parents and now I feel like my own son has lost respect for me because of the way he is being taught. I was also taught this way and am not in any way trying to disrespect the things he is learning, but its not my cup of tea and I really am not doing anything "WRONG". It must be so confusing for him to be told Dont do this or that. Its wrong, this and that, then I am over here doing everything that he is being told not to do. I hate double standards and am not tyring to raise him with one. His Dad and I try to talk to him about its ok to chose to live your life differently and luckily for me, his Dad is very understanding about life choices. And I know his Dad respects ME even though he may not respect what I am doing. Its very noble to know the difference & teach that to our son. I guess its just one of those things! Zach is just going to have to take all presented information and grow into the man he wants to be. I support him in whatever he wants to do. Well unless it is something distructive at which point i would hope NO PARENT supports those behaviors! ;)  This morning as I was making my Coffee he said "Sometimes I like the smell and sometimes I hate it" I said "Well that's how life is. Good and Bad". I wouldn't change me and I wouldn't change him for anything. I truly feel everything is how it should be!

OMU!!!!!!!!

Oh My UNORGANIZED!!!!!

What the Hell???? I hope I am not the only one who's unorganiztion/procrastination are there demise. I feel like a complete idiot! The saying if something is important to you, you make time for it- IS TRUE. Which is why I haven't made time for my CNA Certification.  I took the class Last October, and planned to be done with testing and all by November. Pretty sure, I am STILL not done. It ended up being a huge undertaking and I literally couldn't find the time to do my Clinicals, Study for the testing or do the testing. I know you are thinking CNA? WTF? How hard can it be? Thats the thing. ITS NOT HARD!!!! I just don't care. I want to do Home Health. It is something I have thought a lot about and want to do- But I don't really want to be a CNA. AT ALL!!!!! I want to do Home Health because of the flexibility with scheduling, thats IT!!! After my Clinicals I was discusted with the work. I use to want to go into nursing but after that there is no way in bloody hell I would do nursing...........It is something I need to finish though. I already took my Written test, passed it without studying. I am 1/2 way done, Plus my sweet Grandma paid all the fees for the testing while I was unemployed to help me. Now today, I was suppose to go to my Skills portion of the test. Why am I not? Well because I NEVER STUDIED. and I am suppose to have a watch with a second hand to take the pulse and my watch has a dead battery..............and because I dont care, I forgot about this until I was walking out the door today. I called into work today to get this taken care of. WTF!!!!!!!! Guess Its high time I go thrifting and take a nap until Zachs game tonight. Since I already screwed the pooch on the test I might as well make the best of my day off!!!!!!!

Have your cake and eat it too........

I have been having a lot of desire to write about a certain saying/quote. "HAVE YOUR CAKE AND EAT IT TOO". Ok, so I am one to have thrown this saying around a lot and I happen to like it. The following are examples of having your cake and eating it too that I can think of 1.A man who is married and also has a girlfriend 2.A dude that has 2 girlfriends and picks and chooses when to see which one 3.A dad who is divorced and is “Disneyland” dad. Who gets all the glory of being a “great dad” but doesn’t really parent the damn kids. 4.A girl who has a piece of cake, and eats it. So as we can see here, the saying is for MEN!!!!!!! Recently I have become partially obsessed with the new movie “Think like a Man” I love the movie & it was a great movie to portray what happens in relationships and how “acting like a man” will get you NOWHERE without your WOMAN. AMEN!!!!!!! Now back to the saying who the hell has a piece of cake and doesn’t eat it??!!!!!

Bitter much??!

Let me just clarify this. If I am bitter I am this kind of bitter... To give a textbook definition, bitters is a distillation of aromatic herbs, barks, roots and plants, steeped in alcohol. Actually I just want some bitters now....anyways,
Not sure that anyone reads my rants and raves but here is another one. I notice that in life nothing can ever be perfect. I see the beauty in this, but at the same time I am irritated as all hell about it! I have been looking for a good Full Time job since October when I got laid off. Since Oct I have worked 2 other PT jobs and got laid off from the one, and now can't give proper notice to the other. Ive been saying for months I wanted to get off Unemployment and get a steady job. Now I got one. One that I will probably like. Well why am I not happy? I am grateful but not happy. The hours for this job are making me a bad mother. This is my worst absolute worst nightmare as a parent. NOT BEING THERE FOR MY KIDS in my case KID. I can't pick him up from school. I am going to miss the majority of his Little League games bc "I have to work" How rediculous am I? I am NOT THIS PARENT. I feel its a rock in a hard place because I have been up financial shit creek for awhile now and its not going to get any better unless I am working FT. Plus I hate the govt, I dont want Unemployment anymore. Nothing pisses me off more than filing my "weekly claim" I am serious, I wish they could hear what I was saying while I did it. I would have lost Unemployment long ago due to inapropriate behavior LOL!!!!!! I digress, But Joel and I owed taxes this year. SERIOUSLY OBAMA? ........SERIOUSLY!!!!! and it was not a small amount. We dont even own a house yet and things are not coming together. If we were a zipper our teeth would not match up. DUDE I hate broken jackets. In order to do the things that need to be done for our family, I have to sacrifice seeing Zach? WTF!!!!!!!! I do not like this. Its suppose to be good or bad.....not both at the same time. I start on Monday, I wanted a fresh start, but this doesn't feel all that fresh to me. It LITERALLY STINKS! :(

::::The Serenity Prayer::::

I am sure you all know this Prayer:

God, grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
Courage to change the things I can;
And wisdom to know the difference.

Anyway when I first heard it I thought it was Common Sense. I mean obviously you want to be OK with things in your life you can't change, and strive to be better. But the past few years have really taught me what this prayer REALLY means. I have come to a fork in the road countless times, and actually, think I chose the wrong road, not once but a lot of times. Now what should I accept, or change? and at what point can things no longer be changed? How much courage do you need to change things? Well I think a lot of courage, more than I realize. I think I lack here. It is devestating to me because I have always thought of myself as a strong person and woman & now I think i'm weak. It is very hard to admit that, especially in a public place but I think it will help me.
I also really think there is a very FINE LINE between STRONG and WEAK. Women who are abused and don't leave that life are constantly judged by society and labeled as "weak" Well I'm sorry. But are they weak?
So when we say "The courage to change the things we can," we are not talking about changing others. We are mainly talking about changing ourselves. We must set boundaries for our own peace of mind, or because "its the right thing to do" ... and, in doing so, things change. But all we can do is set the boundary and enforce it .... and that is where "courage" comes in .... because setting boundaries, Come with a risk. The risk that the other person will not honor the boundaries. In fact, they will not even ACKNOWLEDGE them. This is True in my life in a lot of areas, Let me show u a pie graph chart of my life areas.....

you can see here that I am decreasing a bit faster than increasing......LOL!!!!!!!!
I feel I am up in the night with this thought provoking, yet vaugue post. That is not only because it is 1am!!!!!! Seriously, Am I crazy?
Wisdom means: The knowledge of what is true or right coupled with just judgment as to action. OK, So what's really "RIGHT" vs a matter of "OPINION". Seriously I want to know. My opinion is that I AM RIGHT 92.5% of the time & that calculation is because of the radio station, and I wish it was Sunday so I can listen to Sunday Nite Slo Jams! Seriously.

Please Leave your Judgements at the Door!

Today I was invited to go eat lunch with Zachie at his School. He is the VIP this week. I could A) Bring my own lunch. Or B) Eat the schools lunch. I decided on option C) Take a Coffee and sit with my babe while he ate. So across from us is this kid dressed in a shirt thats too small for him and also flood pants and worn out shoes, hair not done. wearing a CTR ring. Zach also has a CTR ring that he sometimes wears. No problem. So this kid starts giving me the 3rd degree.
Kid: Is that Coffee? YOU drink COFFEE?
Me: YES.
Kid: Coffee is bad for you.
Me: No it isn't.
Kid: Yes it is. It has Alcohol in it
Me: No it doesn't, Not this coffee anyway (LOL)
Kid: Yes it does. its bad for you
Me: Its no worse for you than a soda. It has Caffeine in it, like a soda.
Kid: Do you smoke too??
Me: No but my husband does
Kid: Smoking is bad for you. Zach, Your dad smokes???????????
Zach: No my dad doesn't, my Step dad does.
Kid: Whats a step dad?
Zach: My parents aren't married to each other anymore. I have 2 dads and 2 moms.
Kid: Thats so weird. Do you even go to church?
Zach: Sometimes people don't go to church. But thats OK.

OK WTF!!!!!!!!!! Im sorry. PARENTS, If you have a belief that you are teaching your kids. Not to drink Coffee, Tea, Alcohol, Not have sex before marriage. FINE. TEACH YOUR KIDS THAT. NO BIG DEAL! But Please also teach them that people are not "WEIRD" or "BAD" or "DIFFERENT" for not doing what you do. I am seriously offended by this child's parents and the way they are teaching him. Everyone is different and because they choose to NOT do what YOU do, does not by any stretch of the imagination make them WRONG. It was the hardest thing Ive had to do in my life to walk away from the church. It just isn't for me. If it's for this KID and if it's for Zach more power to them but PLEASE DON'T JUDGE MY CHOICES. Zach was very mature in this conversation and the convo continued after what I had posted. This child was so blatently not OK with me and starting in on Zach. Zach see's both sides of this fence on a weekly basis and I am proud to say he is well versed on both and unjudgemental. Sure he asks me about Alcohol and about Coffee and about why I don't go to church because he is being taught all of this when he goes to church with his dad. I am ok with the questions, and I know he is just trying to figure it out.
I wanted to smack this child a new one. LOL ok, actually I wanted to smack his parents!!!!!!!

6 WEEKS!!!!!

No I am not pregnant. Haha! We are going to DISNEYLAND in 6 WEEKS!!!!!! I am telling you and I am 100% serious when I say this. I AM MORE EXCITED THAN THE KIDS!!!!! Now it is not a competition between Zach's dad and I, But Zach has been to Cali twice with Jake and St George multiple times. I haven't taken him anywhere!!! Zach has never been to Disneyland though! ~OR~ on an AIRPLANE! I get 2 firsts on this vacation! It is totally weird splitting time with him, because I don't know 1/2 the people my own son knows and is associated with. I am so grateful I get this first of Zachie! To this day, he hasn't lost a tooth at my house. Jake is the only one that has played tooth fairy!
When we told the kids Zach was being a total brat (On Xmas day) He has become to think he is entitled to get all these things because he is so spoiled on Xmas. Between Jake and I and his grandparents he is one lucky boy. BUT, I wanted to strangle him this day. We told them we were going to Disneyland and Zach said "I dont want to go. I don't want to go on the rollercoaster." and burst into tears. Seriously, Zach? Since this time he still has anxiety. LOL, this is definantley my X's SON!!!!! Anyway, I know he will love it! And I WILL LOVE IT!!!!!

Sangria=Better Mom.

Yes. I did just go there.
Now I don't want to come off as a bad parent or overly suggestive. I literally am JUST SAYING.
I don't know how people "parent" that don't drink. Now I mean this in all sincerity, If you don't drink because of religious reasons I give you double kudos, and Triple kudos if your church is at 9am! Now to clarify I don't drink a lot. And mostly on weekends and even then It's not every weekend day or every weekend for that matter. But I do like to have a drink. Here is why I say I don't know how people parent that don't drink.
*When I am buzzed I am 100% more sympathetic to Zach LOL
*When I am buzzed I love playing whatever he wants to play and don't notice how long we are playing it.
*It opens my mind. I think the best outside the box while a bit tipsy. I think about things I want to paint or write about, Think about fun things to do with the kids and make mental TO DO lists.
*I am so motivated to clean or organize
*I have to say it makes me more sensual of a person, I know that doesn't have much to do with parenting, But it has a lot to do with being a woman for me!!!!(Cmon. I had too!)
*When I am buzzed I allow Z to stay up late on weekends and it doesn't bug me if he is making a mess or a ton of noise!!
*I Love the kids acting like kids when I am buzzed. Dancing crazy, Saying weird things. It is so hilarious. Not that I dont like it when I'm not, JUST SAYING!
*I think the kids listen to me more when I'm buzzed/drunk. Its probably because I'm not so concerned about the process of things.
*Also, it helps me not "EXPLODE" like I have discussed.
*I am OVERLY POSITIVE this is a mind set. I am sure every parent has their own way to "catch a break" or "relax" and Music has the same effect one me if I can get the
right playlist going.
Thats just a few reasons...
Plus I feel young or Free. Since I was raised LDS It was always so Taboo to "have a drink" or anytime I saw a bottle of wine I was so nervous. Hah.

This is a Sangria. (For those that don't know, its Red Wine (or any wine), GingerAle (or 7up or OJ), And any other Alcohol of your choice. (I usually use Peach Schnapps or some kind of Pucker)& any kind of fruit. Usually I use some lemon juice, unless I think ahead! It is my new favorite drink!!!
Zach says "Mom you taste blegh" when I gave him a kiss. I disagree, I think its so good! But as a Mom, I am amused with him thinking its Blegh, as long as he pleases! ;)

New Year

HAPPY 2012!!!!
So my resolutions are the same as every year "get on a workout schedule and stick to it" Yeah ummmmm, I also added one to this and it is "Not being so explosive as a person/parent" I tend to be passive aggressive and hold things in all the time because I like to "Pick my battles" this goes for Zach and in my Relationships. Problem with "picking battles" is everything becomes a battle, because you get so frustrated about every small thing when you don't address them. At least that's how it is with me! So usually what happens is this..."hmm ok thats pretty annoying, owell not worth it" "O wow...ok still not worth it" then something seriously minut happens "WHAT THE **#$@%!!!" I come off to my husband and kids as "CRAZY" because I blew up over something so small..When really it wasn't the small thing that set me off.... Even a slow dripping faucet will eventually cause the pooling water to overflow.
Ok, So to work on this I have been telling poor Joel everything that is bugging me but staying calm. "Are you really going to leave all this on the table for me to throw away tomorrow?" "It is really bugging me right now that......" LOL. So far I don't really think he cares or notices my comments, and I feel so much better!!!! As far as Zach goes I implemented not "exploding" tonight on him. Joel pointed out "one" of the kids wrote "zach" on the wall and scribbled. I asked him why he did this. It was in his handwritting....hello..I know it was him. "I didn't do it" I asked him again. Same answer. I asked why he was lying? He said "I scribbled but I didn't write the name" Usually by this time I have unleashed some form of fury LOL. But tonight I just said that "I didn't appreciate him lying and he can sit in his room until he is ready to tell the truth and clean the wall" He went to his room for 10 min then came out and said he was ready to talk and said Sorry. I explained that his behavior was very bad because now he is in trouble for lying and for drawing on the wall.
Anyway, he cleaned it so its all good and I don't need to apologize for yelling at him!
YAY KUDOS TO ME!!!!!
*Disclaimer. I do not yell a lot. But I realize I need to take the MINIMAL yelling down to NEVER yelling. I feel it is more effective.