Vent ...Venting... Vented.

This may not be the place nor be associated with the proper language/grammar. But some things need to be said.
I AM SO SICK AND TIRED of people getting handouts. Handouts in Trips, Jobs, Accessories. Celebs who have money never have to buy anything they want. It is just given to them because they are pretty. People just doing things for other people. Knowing people in low places, high places. Getting this for free or that.
I have NEVER gotten a handout. Never gotten something for nothing. I have worked my ass off for everything that Zach and I own. Ive had a job since I was 14yrs old, taking 6 weeks off work when Zach was born. Now I get in a bad situation with a "friend" and im unemployed. It appears that I have no experience to work in the field I have been working in for the past 7 Years and I am starting back at point A. Then you see all these people who have never even had a job and I feel judged by them. People who have family money, or who work for their family or a friend. Who had no business even doing the job but was given the job because they "KNEW" someone. I feel like a failure to myself and my son. I have never paid bills late, thats just not something that I do. My credit score could not be any higher. The Govt helps all sorts of people who take advantage of the system left and right. I never applied for CHIP or food stamps or any other program when I was a single mother. And believe me I was QUALIFIED for it. I didn't apply because I hate the govt and their way of fixing things. I wanted to "fix" what was wrong myself. I have been unemployed now for 2 months. I applied for unemployment... FIRST THING I HAVE EVER ASKED FOR. Because I deserve it. The way things happened with my work... believe me I didn't deserve to be fired. And what happened? I was DENIED. The GOVT wont help a mother who is honestly looking for a job daily...who isn't trying to take advantage of the help. Who is asking because I honestly need the help and it has nothing to do with laziness. Thanks a lot. The money I should be getting is going to some Imigrant probably (and I am not racist, thats just how things are) But I can't say that I am surprised. The govt wont help before its already too late. That is what is wrong with this Country and this is why the Economy is bad. Everyone just wants handouts.
I am getting married next Saturday. That is the only blessing in my life right now. I am so sick of trying for nothing and doing my best to accomplish NOTHING. I am not trying to have a bad attitude I am just really frustrated. Last night at Zachs game we left his shoes in the dugout on accident and I had to send him to school today in his cleats because they were the only shoes he had here. Is it really a big deal? No. But believe me I started stressing about buying him new shoes because I dont have money for that. My car needs gas, All this wedding planning isn't over. I still need Money for the reception, odds and ends. & the Honeymoon..... I feel we really need to go on a honeymoon because I didn't go for my first marriage & truly both of us need to get away. I feel I am entitled to go on a honeymoon. My last Vacation was Vegas over 3 years ago.....Yet, I feel like im Irresponsible for going on a honeymoon when I dont have a job. Im sick of always trying to do the right thing. Right for who? I am sick of always feeling judged by everyone. I can't even go over to my own parents in a sleevless shirt because my mom will eye the tattoo on my shoulder. I just really need a break in a big way. My head is going to explode!!!!!!!!!

& the cherry on top my kitty is mean. I took her in to get her fixed and turns out she is already fixed. Spaying her was suppose to mellow her out. The whole time I was typing this blog she is jumping up at me and using my leg as a claw sharpener. If i pick her up she bites me and she hates to be pet. She just likes to be around people, but dont touch her. She made me bleed. WTF!
Case in point......

Last night I was in the bathtub & she came in there. Looked at me like this THE WHOLE TIME! I must be a sad sight! hahahaha. Anyway I hope she starts being nice bc I could use a snuggle.

The big K!

Zach is almost done with KINDERGARTEN! I am so excited about the fact that he is almost in FT school. Not to be a bad mama... Kindergarten has been good! Zach says he liked Preschool better because they had snack time! haha!
This week he had to dress like a clown one day. It is so hard to find a clown costume when its not halloween. Who knew? I tried to buy an oversized girl shirt at the DI that had colored polka dots on it to make my own costume but he wasn't having any of that "GIRL CLOTHES..Bleghhh"! Turns out we turned him into a "Sports Clown" and he loved it! He looked so cute!




Silly Monkey wore that wig all day! Haha.......
The next day was Crazy Hat day. I had him color on paper and made paper airplanes then just pinned them to his fadora hat. He was stylin!

It was super windy that day... and on the way to the car one of them blew off of the hat and flew away. I thought it was hilarious but he almost started crying. His hat was ruined. I had to fix it before we got to the school!!!!
I love how Smart my lil man is getting!

New Job!

So after my job debacle last month at ARUP where I was FORCED to resign. I had 2 interviews and got hired on at Myriad Genetics. I start tomorrow! Man, that was almost too easy. I am very blessed to find a job so quickly in this economy. ARUP is paying me a severence of 40hrs. Therefor I will only miss 1 week of pay! Haha!
I am so nervous to start this job! I haven't started a new job since 2006! And it will be a change for me because it is a NORMAL job. NORMAL hours. I also haven't worked NORMAL HOURS at a job since... 8 years ago! I am super excited. I will have weekends off. This is the first job ive EVER had that I get weekends off!!
The job gods must love me.

I'M ENGAGED!

2nd times the charm.... Haha Jake my X husband can suck it! I think he thought I would remain single because Its been a whole 5 years almost 6 since our divorce. Every once in a while he would throw into our conversations "you will find someone......" as IF im so lonely being single and hate myself? Jake please! I really had a great time being single. I was single for 2 1/2yrs after we got divorced and had no intention of commiting. After that I felt I was ready and got serious with someone and it sucked! then I got into another relationship right after...and we wont talk about that. Then I met Joel! He was one of those guys that I was drawn to. The whole 1 1/2 years we've been together now I have seen him mad maybe 2 times. He is so good for me in everyway! Plus he calls me on my bullshit. Thats something NOBODY ever has done with me... I almost thought I didn't have any. Hahahaha! plus he SOMETIMES laughs at my jokes. Sometimes.
Anyway heres some pics of the proposal, and if you are on facebook. Sorry you have to see them again!




I was so surprised.. we just got back from going out to dinner. I wasn't expecting it, he had his sisters come in & do it while we were gone, Champagne, Rose petals & Candles.. Im way too girly but this was the BEST. Truthfully we have been talking about eloping for a few months now and even picked a weekend in April that we wanted to go. (yea I know. Eloping is suppose to be spur of the moment. But we have 2 KIDS!!!!) we went and got rings but I kind of thought we would just elope and not really have an enagement.... but we still need rings! We dont want too formal of an affair seeing as how its both of our 2nd marriage. So Joel did so GOOD!!! I dont rememeber what he said on his knee but I wish I did because it was perfect!
Im so happy with him... and so blessed! & So EXCITED to start this new chapter! I am inheriting a daughter in this as well. Zach & Zoey are close in age. This should be interesting!!

CHEERS TO US AND OUR LIFE TOGETHER!


*DISCLAIMER...DO NOT go make lovie for an hour in your room with candles lit all over on your carpet. It WILL start a fire! Yes it did... but we caught it before it got too out of hand!!!

Z is funny!

My little one is doing AWESOME at reading! Yesterday he got a new book to read. It was about a dog going to the Vet. Last night while reading it he asked "Whats a vet?" I told him "An Animal Doctor" So tonight while reading the sentence "Rag went to the Vet" Zach said "Rag went to the Animal Doctor" LOL!!! Now I am not so sure he is reading anything at all... Maybe just memorizing the books! :-/
It was cute though!
His new thing is making up jokes...He actually does ok at it considering he is 5. Here is one of them...
"What do you get when you cross a Porcupine with a Strawberry?" "Strawberry JAM" What tha? how he even comes up with this stuff is beyond me!!!!
Another funny thing he has said recently was when we were driving in the car I mentioned that I was exhausted! He replied "You should get some 5 hour Allergy"
Hahaha! Ughh? I burst out laughing and asked if he meant 5hr Energy? because I didn't want allergies. He said "Yeah mom..... I saw it on TV" Good going TV... Owell He actually had the right idea!! It was hilarious.

I LOVE THAT BOY!!!!!!!

Zach eats a peperoncini......

A photo montage of my 5yr old eating a peperoncini. Silly boy! he begged me to let him try one because I am always snacking on them...




He said "Yuck yuck yuck. blegh"

Work Shmerk.

I know that work stuff is boring to read but I figure this is blogworthy
I have worked for ARUP for 4years. 4 freakin years. That is a long time!!!!!! I started there when Zach was only 1yr old and I was divorced for 3 months! It has been a good job, the Pay isn't the best but I was able to work the hours I needed too in order to be a good mom. I have never had any problems ... well within moderation, with the company. Until about 5 months ago......
I got a new manager.. lets see how I should put this... she was a total bitch!!! Wow total bitch. She made different guidelines for the job I had been working the following 3yrs. This would not be a problem if i was a circus tiger and loved jumping through flaming hoops of fire. But seriously. She didn't change my pay and I started getting written up ALL THE TIME. As previously mentioned I have worked in Electropheresis Manual Endocrinology & special Chemistry departments for 3 YEARS... it is not like i dont know what I am doing. All my write ups were for stupid things, I wasn't compromising samples, or making major mistakes that affected patient care. It was stuff like:
*Not initialing the counter top cleaning log (as IF i am not cleaning that bitch... excuse me, I work in a lab. I cleaned it probaly 7 times or more a shift)
*Not picking up my samples that I checked out of storage within a 10 minute period. Um. This isn't even a big deal. Storage samples maintain temperature until I would go get them.... There was not really a need for the rush. and I would get them within the hour.
She hated me!!!! LOL well honestly I wasn't a fan either.
She started saying I was unapproachable, unprofessional, rude and LATE for my shift. my shift starts at 5:00AM....I get here usually at 5:10ish. Meanwhile my coworker gets a promotion his shift starts at 6am... he usually arrives at 9am. I am not even kidding.
I went to my manager and expressed my unhappiness and gave valid points. Things got worse here. seriously... She started to "watch" me and make my life a living hell.
Long story shortened......I was forced to resign. Honestly forced. She took me to HR and they asked me to finish out 2weeks and resign. I had to write a formal resignition letter. She said there is no longer a spot for me in EME. WTF!!!!!!! I didn't even do ANYTHING!!!!!! During my meeting she was reading a "job duties" thing to me....!!!!! I said "I already do that, spare me!" (I was done being nice, up until this... I was always polite.) She got in my face and said "THEN DO IT WITH SOME DAMN RESPECT. YOU HAVE NEVER AWKNOWLEDGED ME WHEN I WALK DOWN THE ISLE......" she is joking right???? I didn't realize she walked on water. I was FIRED!!!!!! they just gave me a 2 week notice.
Sweet~
I am hoping I am eligible for Unemployment because I can't exactly support my son while looking for work if I can't get that.
I am so annoyed!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I didn't do anything & my 4yr reference is tainted now. Everyone that I work with is literally shocked by this... Although, I am so happy I will not have to:
*get up at 4am anymore
*work 70 hours in one week (ive done that for 3years now. Im ready for a break...)
*Deal with that crap anymore. I am so done!!!!!!!! My quality of life has already improved knowing I am free.
*Be paid like shit. Literally... its a good company but they do not PAY well. at all. I understand that I dont have a degree but I could make that kind of money anywhere. & trust me they really expect a lot for what they pay. All the hippa, Osha, Cap inspection, Quarterly training, Required Continued education, test knowledge, so much work already just to stay employed then I have to do my job on top of it.... I am sooo done.
I think i should get a celebration cake with managers picture on it and go office space on her and by her I mean the cake.

I figure it wont matter if i post a pic if i block out her eyes... thats what they do on TV to protect pedophilles!!!!!!!!
Weird, she already had the horns!
I only have one thing left to say........

Embarrasing moment #2

Embarrasing moment #1 was throwing up in a plasma center & flashing all patients seeing as how I was in a skirt, and connected to a machine.
So today might have been worse. I was mortified. I know it will cause a laugh for all females though so I thought I would share. First off lets talk about what NOT to do:
DO NOT SCHEDULE A YEARLY PAP EXAM ON A SATURDAY. these are not for weekends.
DO NOT GO TO A RANDOM DOCTOR THAT IS MALE AT A FREE CLINIC &
DO NOT MAKE THE APPOINTMENT FOR 6:30AM.
DO NOT WAIT TIL THE VERY LAST DAY TO GET THE EXAM BEFORE YOUR PILL LAPSES.
All those things are signs of danger!!!!
I went to the appointment at the free clinic at my work & I had to do it today because like I said I procrastinated. My work shift starts at 5am so I figure it doesn't matter I will be there anyway. Well trust me it was still way too early!
The doc as previously mentioned was Male and so therfor cannot be in the room with me alone. The MA's on staff since its a saturday were also ALL MALE! Im having a mini panic attack that I wont be able to get this taken care of...
Meanwhile.. The doc has asked some RANDOM woman to come into the room.
I try to make a few jokes with her about her break sucking as bad as mine, and how I will come in and sit in on her next pap. She didn't think it was amusing at all and never responded to me.
SO I am wearing the hospital gown backwards so they can do the breast exam. Apparently the MAN doctor thinks I dont want/need any privacy and puts me in the sturrups right away. He peels the gown off on both sides and starts doing the exam. HOLY HELL it is cold in here. OH, MAYBE THATS BECAUSE I AM NAKED & EXPOSED... SPRAWLED ON A TABLE!!!!!!!! he does the exam. As he is doing this I glance over at this random chick... She is full on standing there staring at me. Awkwardly! Oh my AWKWARD. Why is she looking right at me? is she looking at my face? or my boobs or checking out my stomach and doing some kind of sick comparison to hers? WHAT THE........ This went on for 30 seconds but it felt like 30 mintues. I also glanced at her as the doc was doing my pap and yep! She was still staring.
As if this all isn't bad enough... Guess who I see 2 more times at work?
AWKWARD RANDOM WOMAN!!!!!! Who is she even? one of the times I said "haha. fancy seeing you here" again, trying to make a joke. Nope no response. The next time was upstairs by the lunchroom. Im glad I didn't have to sit up by her and eat too!!!

Stitches x3!

So this week Zachie got his first set of stitches! Poor babe. I was in the shower and he got the huge kitchen sheers to try to open a tube of M&M's. He cut his little finger with them. As I said I was in the shower...He proceeded to shake his bleeding hand & run up to tell me he cut it crying. =( Making my house look like a crime scene. Here are a few pics but it looked like this everywhere.



Haha! kinda funny now that my baby is ok, but at the time how traumatic! He did awesome at the doctor. Well lets rephrase that. He did Awesome at the doctor..for a 5 year old having his finger numbed & stitched up. Now I have never been that parent to become emotional over their child going through pain. Immunizations/hurting themselves/ anything physical. But I got teary eyed at the doc. I wanted to help Zachie so bad and he was having such a hard time with the pain & the courage he needed to hold his hand still. His dad had to come help me hold him down & after he was numb and just being stitched up Zachie asked the doc "Do you like BYU or UTAH?" the doc said "Utah, of course" Z was making a face & saying YUCKKK. hahaha. Jake said "its OK buddy, Ive heard that doctors that like Utah are still good doctors!" He needed 3 stitches & hasnt really complained about it hurting since the day it happened. Here is what it looks like now.

Gnarly. Way to be brave Zach. We love how tough you are! Haha! DONT mind my bra hanging on the doorknob in the back... LOL! dontcha love how stuff shows up in pics that you weren't aware of?!

Priceless!

I was at Kohls with Joel buying some things with a gift certificate he had. He was getting some boxer briefs (Woot woot. Hahah) They were $28. (keep reading there is a reason I am writting all this detail)... Joel says "wow. for that price I should just go commando." the cashier says "Well I think they are probably more comfy than going commando..." he says "I disagree" You should have seen the look on her face. LOL she was an older woman and was so embarrased.

hahahahaha! Thanks for the laugh babe!