My Shoe Renovation!

So I know I have blogged 4 times in the last 3 days and I am sorry but I just was so excited about this...
I got these Nast shoes for $5 a year ago... and I liked the peep toe, and they fit pretty comfy..Which I have big feet so this is a good thing!! But they are so UGLY I never wore them. I kept looking at them. then I wondered if I could paint them? I figure they were $5 so if i ruin them who cares right???
I think the paint will stay on because I used a Plastic paint for the outdoors.
Before:

After:

It took me less than an hour...
Told my Lovey that we have to go out now so I can wear them... :)

P.M.

I know that I just posted but I am annoyed.
Here is what needs to happen:
ME.BE.BETTER. Project ME.. hahaha. (Hence the P.M...LOL)
I have so much potential that I am not using. I have shut down the last few years trying to make ends meet for Zach & I that I don't do anything for myself. I need to do better @gym. @Work. & I need to go to School. Its so hard to find the time for me to do that. I want to paint a picture. I want to learn to read music. I want a high tech camera to take better pictures. Be debt free. I want to take a cooking, sewing class. I want to make Sushi. I want a house. I want to travel. I want to start a business. Pay it forward. I want to write a book. Get more sleep..(haha it is 1:22am) All these things are SIMPLE things... I mean they aren't unatainable...

I do not want to... look back and realize I didn't do any of it!
Now I am not unhappy, I am very happy with my life & how things are going. But I know it can be so much better! I am rejuvanated to be better, Im not trying to be a cheeseface. But really I am.

Im in the red.... :(

My Happenings.

Last night I went to Candlelight Serenade Acousitc Festival at Thanksgiving Pointe. $40 a ticket & they weren't selling alcohol, the lady at the door let us in for $20!!! (How nice of her...) It was a benefit for the child sex trade in America. It was a good time but also after listening to the music, They would show a movie or tell a story about a child. It was not something I would normally like to hear about all night long + pay to hear. I understand it needs attention but I almost cried a few times...
Originally I was going to post a video of one of the bands I took a liking to since it is SONG SUNDAY (haha. I am a nerd....) But YouTube didn't like me to do this, seeing as how all the songs were embeded disabled. SO FINE. The one I am posting is my MOST PLAYED SONG on my ITUNES.

*Playcount 212.
My Playcount is not accurate. seeing as how my computer died and I had to get a new one and redownload Itunes and start over. But still.
*It is also the only LeToya song I have on my Itunes.
*I would not recognize this girl if she were in the same room as me... It is just funny that I am obsessed with her ONE song.
*I got this song from the SLOW JAMS- THE DIFINITIVE COLLECTION. I am laughing about this right now... Because I Love SLOW JAMS but didn't know I had this!!! I just searched the album and the other songs on it have no play. I am playing it now!!!

In other business. I do not know what to do with my child...He thinks that he needs to pull a face everytime a camera is out. Not cheesy smiles. I hate this.
EXHIBIT A

EXHIBIT B

& EXHIBIT C

I sure hope this passes soon :(

5 Things...

I stole this...

5 things i did yesterday:
-Glazed a new end table for my living room
-Read recipes online
-Worked from 4am-930am. (um best shift ever)
-Made a new playlist
-Cuddled with Zachie.

5 things i wish i had:
-MONEY!!!!
-a skinny bod without trying!
-Straight hair...
-A house
-A cat or maybe two

5 things i am looking forward to:
-Moving.
-The iced coffee im about to go buy!
-This weekend :)
-My work bonus, If we ever get it?
-New Jeans for winter!

5 things i wish i could do:
-Go on vacation as much as my sister
-Dance in front of people without anxiety
-Lay out everyday
-Write a book
-Get into school and get a degree. What is my deal?

And this is completley unrealted to this post but I would just like to say that I got a new manager at work and she hisses at you if she is annoyed or whatever. yes she Hisses. Like an oversized angry cat. When we asked her "did you just hiss?" she said she got it from Avatar how the girl Avatar hisses when angry and its very therapeutic... Im sorry but now I need therapy. I wonder if that is covered under workers comp???

Song Sunday... On Monday...

I chose this song because it showed up on a playlist that Itunes Genius made.
This song has HAUNTED ME since my SR year in HIGH SCHOOL, and when it came on I just smiled. Which is awesome. The reasons it haunted me are:
*I was dumped by my boyfriend over the summer... The first song I heard after it was.... THIS DAMN SONG! then I got out of the car at the gas station & was stung by a bee. & put way too much gas in my car and it squirted out all over me. Yes, Then later I ate some fish and it gave me food poisoning. I was hugging the toilet that day. LOL
*Secondly I met my X's X... some crazy ass girl that was coinsidently working with me... and guess what song was on???? THIS ONE!!!!
*I got in a huge fight with my college roommate because I was immiture and lame.. but that aside.. As I left the house in a fit of rage THIS SONG WAS ON!!!!!!! What the?!?!
*Years later, while married I got in a fight with now X, and left mad... got in a car accident.. in my aftermath I realized this DAMN SONG was playing. Not kidding.

Marc Anthony I so do hate you. Well I used too!

Work @ Home?

Excuse me WORK FROM HOME advertisements. GET OUT. Im sick of all these pop ups about how great it is to work from home.

Having a child at home is a FULL TIME JOB!!!!!!!!

You cannot get work done with your CHILD ON YOUR LAP!!!!!!

Child would NOT be content either. Yes that is fine Jr. Please let me get 2 sentences typed with my 1 free hand. chew mommy's phone. WTF.

Now I know that people do work from home. I get that. But Im sure its more like "Ok the kids are getting up at 8ish so I have to get up at 5 to get a few hours in. Then at the nap I will work a few more hours. Then when my husband (if they have one....) gets home Ill work a bit more" Or they work all 4 hours of PT work at night after the kids go to bed... I swear I am at my wits end with these stupid ads. Work is work weather its at HOME or the OFFICE. GET REAL!!!!!!!! actually LMAO its probably worse to work from home cuz then you are ALWAYS home. No escape! hahahaha.....

Moving Time...

You know you live in the ghetto when....
Your neighbors are storing a matress on their balcony....

Other neighbors have a canoe on the side of their balcony. and its been there for about 5 weeks. I should pawn it.

And lastly as I was coming home I saw 3 people sitting out on the balcony eating dinner with TV TRAYS. Side by side style. Ummm.... No. lets not do that. If you want to eat outside go to the park across the street... Or have enough room for a picnic table.

Time for me to get the H. E. LL outta here....

I am Paranoid!

BEYOND a reasonable doubt!
Lets just talk about how afraid I am of other people for a sec....
Im not sure why. Its not even that Im scared of people. Im scared of people LOOKING at me. Haha. How Juvenile!
But this has affected me my whole life. I come off as being rude but Im really so nice. Lots of people have told me their first impression of me was so wrong... Really? I have this phobia of people looking at me, and feeling judged by everyone. Im not sure if this is because of the way I was brought up in the church and them pounding into my small brain that "someone was always watching"... Or what my deal is?
This particular post is because I am deathly afraid of going to the gym. LOL I know right?! I have been a few times, I even got a membership so I am paying to go be judged. (thats what I feel like) I am not stupid I realize nobody cares. But I am breaking a sweat before even entering the building. I realize it is Summer. But thats not why. Its because I feel like im in a fish tank the whole time Im there. When you can feel someone looking at you, and the hairs on the back of your neck stand up... Yeah, THE WHOLE TIME im there, its like that!
This is also a problem at Drive Thru's... I would never go thru them because I thought the person was making fun of me when her speaker wasn't on. HA HA! AS if... I care what that person says about me at the Starbucks? Or do I????? Since I had Zachie I have almost got this phobia under wraps bc it is a huge pain to get him out and back into the car. SO I do use the drive thru. But I use to have the person in passenger yell orders over me. Because I hate it that badly!!!!
I view myself as someone who has a good head on her shoulders, and my self esteem isn't bad. I am very good at seeing stuff for exactly "WHAT IT IS"... I know that nobody is even seeing me at the gym. Im like a spider in there. 20eyes. Im looking around constantly. Can't even get a good workout, Im too stressed out about Joe Schmoe in the corner and the Barbie he's trying to get with, LOL.
I think that a personal trainer would benefit me while starting at the gym... it has been a few years since Ive had a membership. I get a trainer for free... But could I use it? ABSOLUTLY NOT!!! Why you ask? Because he WOULD BE LOOKING AT ME!!!! Thats his JOB! and judging how I was doing. I can't handle all this stress....
When they tried to assign me one the other day I freaked on the manager saying I didn't need one. Sorry & Thank you. And took off mid convo. He was probably wondering WTF my deal was... Too Anxious. I had to go into the bathroom for 5 min.
I also have this problem with Singing or Dancing while anyone is around. I would not like to draw any attention to myself. Zach is the only other human who has heard me sing on a regular basis. I was married to my X for over 3 years and not one note ever snuck out. I never even sing HAPPY BIRTHDAY out LOUD. Because heaven forbid my family might hear me.... What the hell????
My bf has been trying to break me out of this shell and he has helped a lot. I have danced a little with him when we go out. But seriously it is awkward because I am all the sudden wearing cement shoes and can't move my hips AT ALL!!! It doesn't matter how much I have drank. The hair on the back of my neck is standing on end!

I think this is why I love cats. They are always sneaking around on their tummies. acting like you dont exsist... but they know you're looking right at them!!! LOL
WHERE DO I GO FROM HERE??? Take anxiety meds?? I might get to nervous to take them. LOL!!!!!

Last Weekend...

As defined by Urban Dictionary: The end of the work week, most commonly Friday until Sunday night. Sunday night is the end of the weekend because you have to attempt to fall asleep feeling very depressed, due to another work week ahead. Haha... True, But not really Because Monday is my Friday! But I get like that on Monday Nights before my 70hr work week... Last weekend was more fun than Ive had in a LONGGG time.
Fav Song Sunday! TIM MCGRAW. She's my kind of Rain....

Because I was just at his concert on friday!


After we went to the Circle Lounge. My New Favorite place. Seriously!! The DJ was outside on the patio, It was sweet. Plus he was a good DJ! I loved it because:
*It was Me, Joel & MY WORK FRIENDS!!!
Lets just say that everybody I have dated since High School.. Has been Socially Retarded. I think they are Chill then I have them around my family and friends and they are not. Joel made friends with everyone there & talked to everyone. He even met people and faked it like "its so good to finally meet you!" I loved it!!! Everyone said he is so cute & nice & a keeper. I would have to agree! ;) That was always one of those things in my head about introducing people. Now its GOLDEN! Here is a photo montage' (As my friend would say...) hah.






I dont even have a pic with everyone there, cuz most of my time I was with Joel and one of my besties Brook. But Owell.
Good Times! & the best part was I didn't have to get up for work the next morning!!
That hardly ever happens. When I dont have to pretend to be a responsible adult, or be a mom! Im happy for this time! Not to sound like a bad mother, But it was a much needed break for me!! :)